=) or =(

You know it's love when all you want is that person to be happy; even if you're not part of their happiness.
(Unknown)
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Hai! Long time no c? hehehe.. yeah... i saw that last time i wrote this diary was on my b'day which is about a week ago, well... its even almost two weeks exactly! =D busy? yeah... pretty so... ;)
Anyways, he said that he'll cumback to Indonesia on Saturday so... it'll b two more days! But... i duno weder i suld happy or not with his departure.
I have thinks, lotz of thinking about me and my future. What'll i be for the next two years? do i still have be like this... temporary employee, unclear relationship, working or continuing my study to the master level, goin' aboard or stay in this luvely country, married or still single, and if i have married, do i culd b pregnant-having sum cute and clever children, culd i credit a car (cuz my sister with her hubby really inspire me to have a car! even it has to be by credit).
Well, actually, i think hardly about me and my unclear relationship for these few days. What'll i do for this relationship? half of my heart said that it need to b finished! Brake up? yeah... that's rite! Why? coz... there's sum of things that we shuldn't did but we did it, sum BIG MISTAKES and they were so wrong!!!! If i still continuing this realtionship, im affraid we'll duin' those things all over again and makes more sins. I kno i shuld refuse to duin those but... i culdn't refuse it!!! coz, damn!!! i admit it, do like it sumtimes! stupid me ha'?! Hmmm... what things that we had did? I think u have knew it, rite?! =(
the problems is i still in love with him! and i hang sum of my dreams on him. I do LOVE HIM so MUCH!!!!!!!!! But be with him just'll add more sins, not only to me but him either. =( Culd we still stick 2gether without duin sum wrong things?! I culdn't think so... what about him? what does he thinks? we could or not? so... =) or =(